”When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far and nobody can keep them apart”
In today’s life we all know that the ratio of men to woman on this earth and in our country is fairly low.
Talking from a single woman’s perspective. The struggle, is so so real. So the chance of your soulmate being out there, waiting patiently on you while he is a work in progress in 2018 is zilch!
Yes, I have said it. Let us not lie to each other anymore. It is survival of the fittest.
You SNATCH or you get SNATCHED. You need to be wide awake these days in a relationship. And you need to be many other different things… Since it is Monday, I would like to keep my writing as clean as possible, so I will not dwell on what other things you need to be to make sure your relationship survive these harsh conditions of our evil world. But the chances of your soulmate being married to someone else out there is fairly high and you just have to keep yourself busy till his partner dies or something else. I am dead serious.
I always had this older colleague who would say, don’t worry, your husband is still married to someone else, relax, he will come one day. I used to laugh at that, I was in my early 20’s then, now a decade later, I would like to say to that, preach my sister preach.
I attended a funeral once, the poor wife was in pieces of having to bury her husband. Since I was fairly closely related to the widow, I recognised who is family and who is not. I stood a bit far from the open grave. I’ve got this thing for open graves and funerals, it drives me into -200 depression world. And I do suffer from depression. So I was trying to guard myself emotionally and from self inflicted emotional pain by standing far from the grave. I heard a guy talking next me and I turned around to get a closer look, do you know what he said, he told his friend: ”there she is my brother, the widow, she is fine like red wine! Young woman still, shame, I bet the estate will be healthy, I better move quickly.” I almost slapped that guy, he was not a relative or supporting friend, he was a vulture. Afterwards I heard it is apparently a thing in that particular area for younger men to attend random funerals so they can prey on the family… Shame on you.
I also know of a some men that would read a certain newspaper publication diligently, you see this newspaper would always publish the estates as well, and then these gentleman would get their victims. Need I say more? Well, I am not here to write about that, (everyone needs to put bread on the table, let me not judge how people do that)I just wanted to paint you a picture… So, hypothetically, what if my soulmate is still married and we have not found each other, and his wife passes away and in some miracle, we meet and we realise instantly this is it, how long do we wait in order not to be disrespectful to family and friends before we start our lives together? The same goes for a divorce, what if we met whilst he was in the midst of divorce, and now the divorce is finalised, when do you publically start living your lives. So please keep your minds open to this particular piece of writing.
I had this discussion also with my friends, bless your souls over the weekend. When is dating after a spousal’s death acceptable, how long do one have to wait, how do one go about it. Why does the spouse that is left behind jump so quickly into the other person’s pants-literally-. That is a discussion for another day, not today. But my two cents, it is definitely loneliness that sparks these actions. Loneliness my friend, I have come to know is some enemy, and it creeps up on you like a silent disease, ready to conquer you mind, body and spirit. So, how long?
It is deemed appropriate in many cultures to wait at least a year. But my friend, a year is a long long time if you are lonely and hungry and emotionally starving for this kind of love and companionship. If being with this person has been the only thing that has been fuelling you daily.
How long when you were already involved prior to the spouse’s death? And wishing she would die daily? – remember it is hypothetical…..
I had a friend who actually said this once, I wish she would die so I can screw her husband in peace…. Sorry friend, I had to mention it here… how else will I get followers.
I would say you guys would want to jump on it as soon as possible, (given if I was in this predicament, I would want to be with him the day after the funeral, I know I know) however, to save face and dignity and to honour the person’s memory you will also wait a certain period of time, but what if, after the issue that kept you guys apart, it is just never the right time to be together, what if his kids cannot get over their mother’s death, what if he has a jealous sister who wants to benefit from him and would fight any human tooth and nail that comes close to him. What if you do eventually end up together and you fight for one another and you realise after some time that this is not it. What if he swore high and low to be with you and when this eventually happens and he is a single man by death of his spouse and he is free to be with you he just does not come running?
So and even if you end up together, life is so messed up hey, maybe then when he is free we are not meant to be together….
Once again, I would pose you the question, how long is an acceptable time to move on….
I don’t think there is an acceptable time frame involved, we are all different and unique and have our own ways of doing things.
So to the spouses in the beyond, please forgive us, if we snatch your husbands away too quicly. And to the bereaved family. Sorry. We too are human…
Confessions of a Curvy Scorpio
anjawordp 